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it's saturday night, and i'm scared to write about you:

scared that if i write about you, everything will come rushing back.
the talks, the promises, but most of all… the pain. i'm scared that the ocean will come pouring in with no warning: spreading the floor boards, ruining my papers, and filling my lungs. && the waters beginning to drip from the ceiling and squeeze itself into the spaces between where our fingers used to fit, pushing our hearts farther and farther away.  and i want to yell out that there's no need, that our hearts will wander farther and farther apart with no help form the ocean. but the waters beginning to distort your features, erase away the things I know are there. the lines of your face are blurred, your eyebrows thicker than I remember, your eyes darker. your walking away from me, and towards me. your moving up, and your moving down. you love me, you hate me.

iamsoconfused.

and i want to scream that the salt is burning my eyes, and scorching trails of fire down my throat. I want to moan that my lungs were built for oxygen, and there is no way the ocean can live inside them. but theres a rushing in my ears and a thundering in my heart, and I cant tell if im falling in love with you, or out of love with you and I know that theres no way this is healthy and I know its not good for me andandand…

its saturday night, and i'm scared to write about you.

<sub>
full title: and and and i need to stop making excuses for the two of us
(i think)


and its been too long, and i think ive missed you guys. and i need to stop fucking using the word "and"<sub>
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:iconartifice-child:
artifice-child Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010
this dabbles in some overused language from time to time, but the overall sentiment is powerful. (I've totally been there: in that moment where you feel you have something important to say but are too damn terrified to finally say it.)

the first mention of the ocean pouring in is the strongest line in this piece, I think.
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:iconbeneath-the-surface:
beneath-the-surface Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010
thank you so much for your words love
:hug:
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:iconmissnmemories:
missnmemories Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
amazing writing!, horrible feeling, luv u
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:iconbeneath-the-surface:
beneath-the-surface Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
[:
i love you toooo girly
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:iconmissnmemories:
missnmemories Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2009
=D =D =D =D <3
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:iconbellatrix-dsn:
bellatrix-dsn Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2009
i think i know that feeling too well <33
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:iconcocooue:
Cocooue Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010  Student Photographer
yes :heart:
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:iconbellatrix-dsn:
bellatrix-dsn Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2009
:glomp: <3
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November 28, 2009
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